Digging Through the Archives: “Thoughts on Aging” (attributed to George Carlin)
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. How old are you?…. “I’m four and a half “….You’re never 36 and a half….you’re four and a half
going on five!
That’s the key. You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number. How old are you? “I’m gonna be 16.” You could be 12, but you’re gonna be 16.
And then the greatest day of your life happens….you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony….you BECOME 21…YES!!! But then you turn 30….ooohhh what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk….He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now.
What’s wrong?? What changed?? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40…..stay over there, it’s all slipping away…….
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50…..and your dreams are gone. Then you MAKE IT to 60…..you didn’t think you’d make it!!!!
So you BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50, you MAKE IT to 60……then you build up so much speed you HIT 70!
After that, it’s a day by day thing. After that, you HIT Wednesday….You get into your 80’s, you HIT lunch. You TURN 4:30, my grandmother won’t even buy green bananas….it’s an investment you know, and maybe a bad one.
And it doesn’t end there….into the 90’s you start going backwards….I was JUST 92…
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again…. “I’m 100 and a half!!!!”